I was thinking while I was walking about the maiden/mother/crone paradigm. A song came on that made me think of my "maidenhood," that time when I was 17, unattached, dancing my heart out to that song in Disneyland, attracting male attention and oblivious to how beautiful I was.
This was my maidenhood.
Then I realized what my new model should be, or is.
Maiden Lover Crone.
Pretty simple substitution, right? Just one letter. I think I have even heard a maiden/lover/mother/crone model somewhere.
But this is the model that fits me. I will cease being a lover once I become a Crone. Hopefully that day is very far off.
I asked next, wished very hard for a song to come on that reflected my status as "Lover." And my wish came true.
I laughed when it happened. It made me realize that love, while good, is also painful. And yet also a lesson. In my circumstances, at least, it can hurt, but it can also make you strong.
I don't know where that last part came from. Somewhere deep inside me, I suppose, or outside me. Because that's not what I meant to say. But it came to me.
I was going to say something about how I longed for my free, independent maidenhood and how strong I thought that was. But I guess something else interceded.
I'm going to have to think about that. Strength as a lover? Not what I would have first thought. But maybe I take my strength now, my particular kind of strength as a lover, for granted. There have been many that argue it takes great strength to be in a long-distance relationship, that it's not something they could ever do. And I have been doing it on and off for several years now.
Strength as a lover. Hmm.
I guess true lover (there goes another Freudian slip) takes great strength after all...